Rising Star

As I am writing this post, I feel like David felt in Psalm 13: O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes or I will die. Don’t let my enemies gloat saying, “We have defeated him”! Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me I will sing to the Lord Because he is good to me My heart is wrenched within me. It is twisted and broken. My eyes are filled with tears. I do not want to be strong any more. Not for myself and not for any one. I cannot take in the pain that I feel any more. My world is crushing down. My faith is wavering. The fabric that has been holding my life seems to be failing.   I ask myself: Have I lost the way? Did I do something w

Today, I want to testify. I want to testify of the Lord's goodness in my life. Indeed, when He says be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth in Psalm 46:10, it is best not to doubt Him but wholly believe Him.  I agree that without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). In 2012, I deliberately grew more prayerful and drew closer to God. I was seeking a deeper relationship with God. Many are the times i knelt in my house and cried to God. The more I prayed, though, the more situations and circumstances seemed to remain the same. I wondered why God seemed so quiet yet I was making all these prayers. I remember people would speak positives into my life concerning certain issues but the situation around me was different.  I, once in awhile, would ask them what was taking God so long to answer me. I wo

It is true what they say.... If a man wants you, absolutely nothing will stop him from getting you. On the other hand, if a man does not want you, absolutely nothing will make him stay. A time comes when a person  enters into your life and you get to understand why it did not or could not work with other people. Sometimes, your perspective of people changes for the better if you only gave them a chance to be who they truly are. People are much more than the physical. The spiritual and the mental matters too. Love runs the world. When you stop fretting about love, it finally finds you. The person you will finally end up with or marry, is  someone you never expected. These are valuable lessons i have learnt in the last couple of days.

This blog has offered me an excellent opportunity to rant and rave about issues around me. In my years on this earth and the confusing process of self-discovery, I have come to know one thing about me: I am no struggler. Severally, I have been told by acquaintances and colleagues (not friends), that in life, you sometimes have to go out of your way to get what you want. I have been told i have to fight for my place in society. I have to make people feel my presence. In as much as that might be what it is in some instances, I do not like push overs nor being a push over. You want my services? Tell me, I will offer them. Oh, you like me that way? Show it but do not give me mixed signals. You like what I do? That is great, just do not take advantage of me. Wow, Brendah, you are such a good friend. Well, thank you but do not take my being good for granted. You want to give me something? Do so but just do not think I will break me in order to get it. I am no Miss Two-Goodie Shoes. I w

In the past few days, Mt Elgon has been in the news for all the bad reasons. For those who do not know, Mt. Elgon is my motherland. It is my home. I am a proud Sabaot. For many years, Mt. Elgon and its people have been marginalized. Some have even said that nothing good has ever come out of this beautiful land. Yes, we were very much affected by the Sabaot Land Defence Force menace. Many people lost their lives and families were scattered. We still feel the effects of this Force till now. Nevertheless, Mt. Elgon is a beautiful place. This is attested by its lush greenery, undulating hills, its forests with its wildlife, the cattle gently grazing in farms, crops dancing gracefully in the cool breeze and its peaceful people. Sabaot's are very accommodating. There is always a sense of freshness and newness when i visit my home in Kimobo. There is neither pollution of the air or unnecessary noise around. Some have said that Sabaot's are backwards. I have met people who have bee

Dear Dad, Do you remember the talk we had with you one time when we were driving home? Just the two of us? How you told me your story of your rise to become a bank manager? I was amazed by that story that I had to confirm from Mom first. And when I did, Sylviah and Emmah were the first people i called to ask whether they knew about your story. I was humbled Daddy, by your humility. I was humbled by how hard you have/had worked to climb the ladder to where you were. I was humbled by the fact that you are very humble. I do not remember any day you raised your voice or even your finger against us. Instead, you talked to us and pumped sense in to our heads. I hope we are turning out into being the children you want us to be. Dad, I have never seen a more generous person like you. I remember making a prayer one day, tears streaming down my cheeks,  that if God were to bless me, let Him bless me the way He has blessed you.   You have been a dad to many. You have bought people in to our

I started this post without a title. I could not find a befitting one. Many articles have been written about the value of family and  friendship, i would like to add my side of it. In the past few weeks, I have found myself in some situations that have left me vulnerable and felt like being dependent on some one, any one. Since the day I joined first year at the university, I have stayed alone. I learned to be independent and when i finished my studies and got employment, i learned more of staying alone, paying bills and facing life as an individual. Many times, I felt like I should be still living in my parents house. I felt like I was yet too young to venture out on my own. Along the road, I have made friends. They may not be so many of them but the few I have fit me perfectly well and come to my rescue when i need them. In this past few weeks, I have seen my family come all out for me. I have seen them abandon their daily activities and join in what concerns me. I have seen them

14th February, a day most men do not look forward to because 'women expect too much from men'. I have my questions concerning this day, for example, Do women deposit enough in to their sweethearts' love banks to warrant a withdrawal of the same on such a day? Why is it that it is expected so much of men to treat their women and not vice versa? Is this day really meant to show love to our mothers, fathers, sisters and all those who fall into the 'loved ones' bracket? Isn't it meant for men-women in a kind of erotic relationship? Anyway, since today is Valentines Day, i would like to share my thoughts about some of the issues concerning love. From the outset, let me say I am no expert in love and marriage. First,it is public knowledge that there is so much skepticism about love and the whole marriage institution. I have heard people say there is no longer 'love' in this world. We have heard of so many sad stories in the circles where love is/was sup

I have always wanted to write about my life experiences during the not so many years I have lived on this earth. More specifically though, I have always wanted to write about one area of my life. I desire to write about this part of my life for two reasons: to let out the hurt, pain and bitterness and also so that others may read and learn from me. So, i chanced to listen to Bishop David Murithi of House of Grace (Nairobi) on Citizen T.V. His sermon had the heading: Facing Your Insecurity. This issue particularly affects my life. Even though I have outgrown some of the sensitive issues that threatened to cripple my life, I realize i still encounter effects of it in my daily activities. I will tell you about my self. I am an introvert. I am melancholic. It is said of this personality that they are reserved, keep to themselves, talk very little and mostly prefer to be at the background. Being in the limelight is not their forte. Well, I am all that and much more positives and negativ

For the longest time I can remember, my life always seemed pretty boring and predictable. My personality was such that I preferred more quiet and uninvolving engagements compared to my siblings and friends. While in secondary school and at the university too, I was branded a no-nonsense and a too serious for life girl. It is no wonder that I always excelled in my academics since I put much more effort in school than any other activities. This personality, however, proved both a blessing and a curse. In as much as I did so well in school, it made me so unpopular with my college mates. So, it was no surprising that I had very few friends especially of the opposite sex. While my class mates were busy juggling between books and relationships, I solely concentrated on my school work. My hard work did pay off because I graduated top of my class with a job offer to boot. It was, indeed, a great crowning to my sweat when, for the first time in my life, I held a payslip. I thought of al

For the longest time I can remember, my life always seemed pretty boring and predictable. My personality was such that I preferred more quiet and uninvolving engagements compared to my siblings and friends. While in secondary school and at the university too, I was branded a no-nonsense and a too serious for life girl. It is no wonder that I always excelled in my academics since I put much more effort in school than any other activities. This personality, however, proved both a blessing and a curse. In as much as I did so well in school, it made me so unpopular with my college mates. So, it was no surprising that I had very few friends especially of the opposite sex. While my class mates were busy juggling between books and relationships, I solely concentrated on my school work. My hard work did pay off because I graduated top of my class with a job offer to boot. It was, indeed, a great crowning to my sweat when, for the first time in my life, I held a payslip. I thought of al