FANTA C: CHAPTER ONE

For the longest time I can remember, my life always seemed pretty boring and predictable. My personality was such that I preferred more quiet and uninvolving engagements compared to my siblings and friends. While in secondary school and at the university too, I was branded a no-nonsense and a too serious for life girl. It is no wonder that I always excelled in my academics since I put much more effort in school than any other activities. This personality, however, proved both a blessing and a curse. In as much as I did so well in school, it made me so unpopular with my college mates. So, it was no surprising that I had very few friends especially of the opposite sex. While my class mates were busy juggling between books and relationships, I solely concentrated on my school work.

My hard work did pay off because I graduated top of my class with a job offer to boot. It was, indeed, a great crowning to my sweat when, for the first time in my life, I held a payslip. I thought of all the clothes I was going to buy and how I would furnish my one bed roomed house. I wanted to live all that I had ever dreamt about when I got a job. With time though, the excitement wore off and the list of needs grew longer than my payslip could handle. I needed something more exciting to bring back the spice in my life. These thoughts had occupied my mind lately.

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I was glad that Friday had finally come since the week had been a real tiring one to me. By the time I reached my house that evening, I was completely tired.  I heaved a sigh of relief as I sat on my favourite side of the couch and relaxed.  Friday was usually a busy day for me because I had to make sure I cleared up any pending assignments on my desk that would have piled up during the week.  This I had to do if I ever intended to have a peaceful weekend. My kind of life was criticized by my friends as being boring and uneventful just for the fact that I preferred to stay indoors, read books and watch thrillers than hang out in noisy places or joints. At the close of business on a Friday, I would pass by a supermarket and shop for everything that I needed for that weekend. This, then, meant that I would actually venture out of my house on a Monday morning while going to work.

I worked as a Personal Assistant at Mosyl and Mosyl Advocates. Being someone’s assistant had proved to be the most demanding job of all I had ever had. My typical day entailed diary management for my boss, mailbox management, book appointments, write minutes, receive her phone calls and at other times accompanying her to meetings and functions within and without the country. I had to answer to my boss’s every whim.  Certainly, my boss was a no nonsense one; she demanded total devotion and clarity in what one did.  If you went by what she said then you would become her ‘friend’.  On the flipside though, lack of dedication and commitment to work would make you the greatest enemies ever found anywhere.  So, finishing my work I had to, for me to be on the safer side.  

The boring routine of my life reared its ugly head this weekend because I had nothing particularly exciting to do. I had grown tired of watching movies and i had also run out of any books to read. This was one of those rare weekends that i actually felt like doing something crazy in order to let out the fatigue and stress that had accumulated during the week. Unfortunately, I had no one in particular to take me out since my relationship with a guy fizzled out after a stupid argument.  I think of it as stupid because he actually acted foolish. Anyway, he might have cast his eyes yonder and saw greener pastures then saw it good to call it quits with me.  At least, that was the consolation I gave myself.  Heck! Who needed him anyway? I mean, there were so many of them flocking around me!  They were mine for the taking. So why was I worrying?  I decided to do my usual Saturday personal cleaning. I planned to take a nap later on and then go for a long walk; at least to freshen up myself after a busy week.

No sooner said than done, I had already done away with cleaning my house.  I looked around with satisfaction at the work of my hands and told myself to take a long rest.  I stretched on my bed and soon I was far off exploring the land of slumber. I am not usually a dreamer but, in my sleep, I fell into a strange dream.

I saw myself walking in a very green land; there was nothing dry around it. Everywhere I cast my eyes, I saw large and greener fields.  It was beautiful and breathtaking scenery! I breathed in the cool air and felt myself relaxing. It almost felt like I had walked on a hot sunny day and I had now come to a cool place.  How refreshing! It looked like an endless field of green vegetation and the farther I went, the cooler and more breathtaking it grew.

From a far, I saw another person. There were very few people around and the one I saw seemed to be also enjoying the cool air and magnificent scenery. I took no notice of him as I continued with my walk. While in my deep thought, I was suddenly jerked back to reality when I felt the gaze of somebody on me.  A very unique feeling I had never felt before, a certain thrilling feel coursed through my body and electrified every fibre in me.  On looking up, I came face to face with a lad I thought was the most handsome.  He was just some few steps before me but his presence and penetrating gaze made me falter and fall speechless.  I could sense that he also felt the same way I did.

I was afraid. Here was a person I neither knew nor met before but at the first encounter, I am left speechless and dumbfounded. This was some kind of strange disease this is! I could not utter a single word but only a breathless ‘Hi’ and then he smiled. A beautiful smile! My heart soared then I woke up.

I dismissed the dream and went about my usual routine. Hours after I woke up, though, the feeling was still in me. It was a very strange feeling; like a revival in my heart and I wondered why.  For quite some time, I tried to figure out what the dream was all about. Although it was a wonderful feeling, I thought I would suffocate in it. 

My mind was still in turmoil when I put on my coat, scarf and walking boots and closed the door and headed for a walk.  It was a bit chilly outside even though it was around four o’clock. Well, I thought, if this was the way I was going to meet another man, then, it was well and good.  I could no longer deny the fantastic essence of it and the adrenaline it pumped in me. The only problem was that the man I saw in the dream was a total stranger and I feared such kind of men or people for that matter. I always thought that they could take advantage of someone and then leave them high and dry after investing so much in them.  Ah! To hell with the dream, maybe it was just an imagination of the day surfacing in the dream.

Busy with my earphones, I walked on enjoying my music and my random thoughts on nothing in particular. I wondered how I was going to manage without Jeffrey. He was rather a good person to be around with.  Being with him, you never lacked something to do because he made sure that we were always busy. ‘An idol mind is the devil’s workshop’ was his motto coupled with his mentality that no minute should be put to waste.

Sometimes, during the weekend, we would go to the movies but that was on rare occasions because he always did constructive work or something he thought reasonable. That made him boring though because I was one who liked movies and everything that would help me unwind and ease my sometimes overworked mind.  Never to worry, I thought to myself, I had many girlfriends who could keep me busy with their banter and their ever roller coaster of events. If it was not a sleepover at friend’s place, it was a trip to some coastal town or party at a friend’s apartment.  This, however, was not always a guarantee because, at other crucial times when you really needed them, they would be occupied somewhere else with the men in their lives.

I thought of my home, home sweet home! I could not spend my weekends there as it was miles away. Besides that, I was getting increasingly unnerved by the constant questions from my folks and other relatives on when I would grace them with a son in-law.  At twenty six years of age, most of my primary and high school mates were married with two or three children to show off. This gave my parents a fright when on every birthday, I turned another year without any trace of a man in my life.

Basically, by the time I called it a day from work and then busy myself with cleaning or whatever else came up, it would be already late to travel.  As usual, Sunday was church and soon Monday would be here and the routine would start all over again. So, I preferred to spend my weekend right in my apartment. 

At times, I must admit, I would get worried of my solitary life and I would wonder whether any reasonable man would come my way. I barely attended social functions or other functions organized at my work place. I usually did not like engaging in drunken talks with colleagues who had too many sips of the brown bottle. To me, that was a recipe for disaster and a guilty conscious when the hangover is finally over. You will walk around wondering what secrets or frustrations you let out of the bag while under the influence of alcohol. I knew of many incidents where respectable colleagues had disgraced themselves in the name of partying and having a good time. One incident particularly stood out where a female colleague who had been telling me about a secret crush he had on our youthful and overly handsome accountant put herself to shame. What actually happened is that after having a variety of the toxic drinks, all decorum flew out of the window. Not only did she openly tell Joe that she loved him, she also threw herself on him and demanded and acted all desperate on him. All effort made by other close female colleagues present to save her face from a total embarrassment fell short when she started shouting for all and sundry to hear about this pretty secret of hers.

I was busy pondering about my life and how predictable it had become, the dream all but forgotten when the feeling came all over me again.  It was like somebody was watching and scrutinizing me. Who was it?  I looked around to identify anybody I knew but there were only busy people around. Nobody seemed to be interested in me.  Then, God Almighty, who was it? Was it my imagination or ghosts were watching from a far? Was I going nuts? I resolved to see a doctor immediately I had time.  May be there was some problem with my sensory nerves.

I walked on for about a metre or so but it felt like somebody was stalking me. That feeling spoilt my mood and the desire to take a walk.  What if somebody was following me to harm me?  Strangely though, the long gaze from whoever seemed to be watching felt warm and reassuring that it made me feel safe. What troubled me was that I did not know who it was from.  I walked back home, my heart in my mouth fearing that something terrible was going to happen.  Nothing went amiss.