Of PDAs and the African culture
Dear Diary,
Since i started making sense of the world, i have noticed one neglected but very important thing in life. Call it influence from our African culture but i commend the Ugandan culture for, at least, trying to practice it publicly.
Dear Diary, i am talking of Public Display of Affection or PDA. It does not matter how macho or strong of character we are, it does not matter what the African culture has dictated to us, men and women need to be shown love and affection.
While i was studying in Uganda, i was shocked to be told that hugging and sometimes a little peck is a common thing to them. Not so in Kenya! You can imagine my discomfort when every time i would meet my classmates, male or female, they would give me a bear hug. With time, i got used to it and even felt comfortable and liked it. It made me feel warm and appreciated. It affirmed my value as a human being. At least, through the hugs, i was being told, 'we know you', 'we know your value'. It grew to be such a great feeling. I must say, it is in Uganda that i discovered myself and my worth.
And then BOOM! i came back to Kenya and that was an alien thing to us.With time, i grew shy of hugs in public places. I started getting used to 'sasa', 'niaje', 'sema'. And with these, i coiled to myself and reduced the hugs while the hand shakes increased.
Dear Diary, to be truthfully, i do not remember, since my childhood, telling each other verbally that we love them. I now ask myself, is it a taboo to tell people you love them? Your parents, sisters, brothers, friends? Is it going against the grain? I tried that once on one or two friends, and i could feel the discomfort it elicited. Dear Diary, I am talking about pure unattached love. I am talking about appreciative love.
And then i said to myself, i shall not want my children to grow without them knowing i love them. Despite the fact that i will provide for them, i want to hug them more often, i want to touch them more often, i want to tell them every waking moment of their lives that i love them so that when we are finally separated for whatever reason, they will never doubt in their lives that i loved them.
So, Dear Diary, like the song says and for whoever who will read this post.....'tell that someone that you love just what you are thinking of, if tomorrow never comes..'
Since i started making sense of the world, i have noticed one neglected but very important thing in life. Call it influence from our African culture but i commend the Ugandan culture for, at least, trying to practice it publicly.
Dear Diary, i am talking of Public Display of Affection or PDA. It does not matter how macho or strong of character we are, it does not matter what the African culture has dictated to us, men and women need to be shown love and affection.
While i was studying in Uganda, i was shocked to be told that hugging and sometimes a little peck is a common thing to them. Not so in Kenya! You can imagine my discomfort when every time i would meet my classmates, male or female, they would give me a bear hug. With time, i got used to it and even felt comfortable and liked it. It made me feel warm and appreciated. It affirmed my value as a human being. At least, through the hugs, i was being told, 'we know you', 'we know your value'. It grew to be such a great feeling. I must say, it is in Uganda that i discovered myself and my worth.
And then BOOM! i came back to Kenya and that was an alien thing to us.With time, i grew shy of hugs in public places. I started getting used to 'sasa', 'niaje', 'sema'. And with these, i coiled to myself and reduced the hugs while the hand shakes increased.
Dear Diary, to be truthfully, i do not remember, since my childhood, telling each other verbally that we love them. I now ask myself, is it a taboo to tell people you love them? Your parents, sisters, brothers, friends? Is it going against the grain? I tried that once on one or two friends, and i could feel the discomfort it elicited. Dear Diary, I am talking about pure unattached love. I am talking about appreciative love.
And then i said to myself, i shall not want my children to grow without them knowing i love them. Despite the fact that i will provide for them, i want to hug them more often, i want to touch them more often, i want to tell them every waking moment of their lives that i love them so that when we are finally separated for whatever reason, they will never doubt in their lives that i loved them.
So, Dear Diary, like the song says and for whoever who will read this post.....'tell that someone that you love just what you are thinking of, if tomorrow never comes..'
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